STUCK!!!!!!
One Monday morning I was at school. I was playing I dare you with my friends Nicole, Mikayla, Angelica, and suddenly Nicole dare me to put my whole body in a chair. A few minutes later Mr. Waller the teacher walks in and sees me in a chair. Then he tells me to get out of the chair.
But suddenly the kids started lagging at me. Then I say I can’t. But Miss Waller told me to stop being silly.
After A few 15 minutes
Miss Waller called the firetruck. The fire truck arrived at Papatoetoe west school.
And came into Rm 28
After about 27 minutes. My body got out of the chair and I felt relieved.
THE END
I like the idea of you getting stuck in a chair. But, you haven't given enough detail. How did you feel being atuck in a chair? How did Mr Waller try and get you out of the chair? What did the firemen do? You said, "My body got out of the chair." How??? How were you feeling?
ReplyDeletePretty good I just think you need to add a bit more detail like how you felt while you were in the chair, and just some compound words like and, because, and but
ReplyDelete